![]() ![]() It’s a cartoon about a sea sponge who lives with his meowing pet snail.Ī little light goes out inside me. Noah looks at me again with a mix of sadness and pity and suspicion. I used my imagination, and now I’ve been caught. I think about all the elaborate notes in pink cursive, the one hundred shiny pennies in a cloth pouch, the blue stuffed cat, the five-dollar bill, the Superman, the glitter trails, the wooden hearts, the breath I held, the way I ever so gently lifted the pillow, the sparkle-stamped envelope with the tooth fairy’s address: 12345 Tooth Fairy Lane, Moutharctica, Earth. He pats my hand and takes a bite of broccoli. “Sorry, Mama,” says Eli, my six-year-old. The thing about not existing is that sometimes it’s a lot like being a mother. A small, dry wing falls from my back and lands on the floor like a candy wrapper. Without blinking, he looks back up at the screen. “I know you’re the tooth fairy.” Noah, my eight-year-old, looks me dead in the eye. PPS: Diva’s little brother Winston would like to know how tall you are.Sabrina Orah Mark’s monthly column, Happily, focuses on fairy tales and motherhood. I still have them safely stored in excellent condition in a tic-tac container and I’m wondering what the going rate for a full set of baby teeth from the early 70s is worth to you in the current market? I was the little chap from Kangaroo Island who refused to give up my baby teeth and stored them to await an improvement in the going rate. PS: You may remember me from when I was a boy. Thank you for considering this request, we’ll leave you a double brandy on the kitchen table for your trouble and wish you all the best for 2019. Would you please consider this request and I assure you Diva will be more circumspect and vigilant in the care of her teeth in future. The note will be under her pillow where she would’ve placed the tooth (One if her big front teeth (central incisor)) if not for the unfortunate loss of the denticle. She has written a note to you explaining the situation and requests that you fly into our house tonight and read it. I too have failed as a parent…My daughter lost her tooth before she could cash it in with the tooth fairy, so we wrote a note together and put it under her pillow in the hope the Tooth Fairy would understand and compensate her anyway,…and then promptly forgot to swap it out for fiscal remuneration…two nights in a row…So I’m now e-mailing….ĭear Tooth Fairy….I know you’re really busy and getting a bit long in the tooth yourself, but I have to ask you on behalf of my daughter Diva Grace Enna Murray of Karamea on the West Coast of the South Island of New Zealand to take a moment to consider her story about how she lost her tooth. The Toothiest Tooth Fairy That Ever Fairied TeethĬare to share your Tooth Fairy fails & successes? ![]() ![]() They just want their kids to have the best Tooth Fairy, and I want to be that Fairy! I’m so proud to have the honor of collecting your teeth! Please ask your parents to give me another shot. I’ll come get yours (& all the other teeth I couldn’t fit in my satchel) tonight and there will be an extra special prize from me included under your pillow.Ĭan you take care of the tooth until then? I still had 13 teeth to collect!Īnyway, I noticed that you got up earlier than usual this morning so I wasn’t able to come back and get your tooth yet. He was probably just rolling around in pixie dust again) and when he finally got there it was nearly time for me to stop collecting anyway. It took the Taxi two hours to come pick me up (he says he ran into some elf or something on the way, but I’m not sure I believe him. I had to call the ToothCab (the Tooth Fairy Taxi Cab Service) to come pick me up because I couldn’t fly with all those teeth. I collected all the teeth I could, but then my satchel got full and I couldn’t carry it anymore. There were LOTS of children who lost teeth and so many of them even go to your school! Please allow me to explain: Yesterday was a super busy day for the Tooth Fairy. I’m so sorry I was unable to collect your tooth on time. I am emailing you because I wanted you to get this as soon as possible and also because your parents have a reputation for firing Tooth-fairies and I don’t want to be next! ![]() I sent my daughter an email this morning. When you’re a crappy Tooth Fairy you have to get creative. ![]()
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